The big question on the internet today seems to revolve around the idea of “Internet Safetyâ€. I’ve been debating this over in LJ, and thought I might address it here too, since I have a lot to say. So sit tight and get the popcorn, as I offer you this:
- Cain
- David Burkowitz
- BTK
All three of those people have something in common. What is it, you ask?
They all committed murder without using the internet.
So many of the arguments I have heard today have been along the lines of “Oh well you don’t know who you’re talking to online.†They’re right, for the most part, but you really don’t know who you’re talking to in real life, either. When I was younger I bought into the whole idea that the internet was a vast wasteland full of predators. I’ve grown up since then and have acquired an opinion that seems a little more levelheaded.
Life. Is. Dangerous. On the net or off, we are faced with the same problems. Rape and murder were around long before the internet. People didn’t start getting hurt when people started signing on AIM. It just doesn’t work like that, sorry.
I could walk into a library tomorrow and meet a gorgeous, well dressed guy. He could then tell me that he’s in finance, and has a pet dog named fluffy. We could talk politics and theatre and work over coffee. Things could go along swimmingly. Then one day I could meet him for dinner, and go back to his place, where he makes me into the next morning’s headline. It had nothing to do with the net, it’s a matter of people being dishonest. People can lie just as easily in real life as they can online. Sure, at the mall you can’t pretend to be a 17 year old woman when you’re a 55 year old guy, but what matters is intent. You can be a perfectly respectable member of the community and still have dark motives.
Take BTK, who had his own daughter fooled into believing he was a good, upstanding citizen. Cain killed his own brother, no random AIM hookup there, and David Burkowitz tried to convince people he was ordered to kill by a dog. Now look at some recent cases, like that of the man that raped a 4 month old. He had a livejournal, but didn’t use it to kill people, he was already a bad person. Or the two girls who have killed their parents and then blogged about it. They weren’t sane, but they certainly weren’t using the net to trap people.
I’ve met a lot of online people in real life. The most notable being of course John. He’s pretty damn normal if I must say so. I’ve also met Stephanie and Krissy and I would trust either of them with The Monkey. They are good people, and fantastic friends.
Some of the people in my real life haven’t been so savory. The only times I’ve ever been victimized, it has been by someone I considered a friend. My best friend, who destroyed my locker, also kept a scrapbook detailing John’s legal situation and the vandalism she was committing on the weekends in the local parking lot. That’s pretty crazy. I had been friends with her for years before ever seeing the side of her that was less than stable. I was totally fooled into thinking this was a normal girl and my friend.
The murder rate in this country is high, as are the rates of rape and other assaults. You don’t hear about them all on the news, there are too many, but if one has any element of internet use, it becomes a huge media frenzy of “OMG A 12 YEAR OLD WAS LURED BY A 67 YEAR OLD AND KILLED IN A LOVE DUNGEONâ€. The second the cops hear “internet†they immediately make it into the worst possible case imaginable.
I’m not saying that the internet is safe, because it’s not. What I’m saying is it’s really no more dangerous than real life. If you’re the type to run off and meet someone you just met that day on IRC, you’re probably the same type who will go home with someone you just met at a bar. Not that that’s a bad thing, it’s just an observation. One can only do so much to protect themselves anywhere, and I think people need to stop blaming the internet for all the crime in the world.
The worst part is not the crime on the internet but the ignorance of people that make it like a 45 year old man raping a 12 year old girl he met on the internet is more heinous than a 45 year old man raping a 12 year old girl he met while teaching math. Know what I mean?
Part of it is that people like to throw its collective finger over to the most convienient supposed “cause” of the problem.
The Internet, Rock and Roll, before that drive-in movies, before that Elvis, before that National Geographic magazines . . .
Notice how lately people are throwing the flying fickle finger of fate at myspace?
But yea, its the ignorance of people that’s a good portion of the problem.
I agree… I met Juan online. I met one other person too. She turned out to be really cool. When people found out I was going to meet Juan they told me they would read the newspaper to see if my name was in it. Nice huh? I told them the same thing. There are crazy people everywhere. Not just online. Over two years later… Juan still hasn’t tried to kill me. In fact I trust him more than anyone else in my life.
See I’ve met several people online and then met them in real life and actually invited them into my home. Yeah the ones who came into my home were a young woman around my age and 15 year old girl so I wasn’t feeling really threatened but you never know do you? I really started to question this 15 year old girls family at the time of all of this because they actually let their daughter go on a trip to Charlotte NC and that is 10 hours from states (indiana/ohio). She was 16ish at the time. We stayed Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. She was with a group of men and women over 21 all of who were drinking and having fun to some extent. She videotaped the entire thing. They never really cared because the worst thing was a guy that was a bf of a girl in our group screaming Show Us Your T*ts at a concert we were at.
I’d like to think that her parents cared enough to know us and know what our intentions were with her, but I honestly think they didn’t give a flip what was going on. So I’ve seen both sides of this things. I’ve been there met the 15 year old and took her on a trip with willing parents. I wouldn’t hurt anyone but it turned my stomach to know that some parents condone this type of thing and I’ll stick by my philosophy of that being part of the reason it happens.
I am on the same page with John on the issue of real life predators. I’m more worried about anyone surrounding her and will continue to be when she goes off to school etc. Then again Sydney won’t be on the internet locked in her room doing things because I’m an involved parent.
I’m hoping that a lot of this teen predator stuff really tapers off when this generation of computer savvy people’s children get that age.
Does anyone kinda feel like if you are stupid enough to put your name, address, phone number and ask people to stop byall with directions that you are deserving of what happens to you?
Yay… exactly. People are people, online or off, and don’t automatically become evil just because they’re online. It’s the people you know and come into contact you should worry about. I do think people should be careful when meeting someone - but they should in any situation - penpals, blind dates, so on :)
I hope that makes sense.
i totally agree with you on this one!! theres crazy people and good people everywhere, online or off
Yes, exactly. People, no matter through what medium, will always have the ability to turn tricks and end up to be something totally different than what anybody assumed.
i’m actually being stalked right now by a girl that i knew in high school! its no one that i met by blogging or while hanging out on a forum. its so hard to stay annonymous online nowadays with all this “whois” out there detailing our private info. i guess it depends on who makes it easy out there to be found and who goes out of their way to hide their personal ids. i think it would be just as easy, if not more so, to be abducted / attacked / killed by a stranger on the streets.
I remember the days of IRC *daydreams*. I occasionally go back on mIRC, very seldom though.
I remember with it the channel meets that we used to have and how comfortable we were to meet eachother. But now (for some of the reasons you mentioned), some would be a bit weary about it.
Apart from meets, I’ve met a lot of people online… I met my best friend online when I was like 11 or 12, hehe.
But yeah, even though it is fair, there still will always be the ‘doubt’ of meeting people online.
I think part of the problem is that parents think of the interntet as a babysitter and don’t pay attention to what their kids are doing. I’ve meet my fair share of people online and everyone has been normal.
So very true.
You’re completely right. The world is a dangerous place, and not necessarily made more so by the internet. I’ve been talking to strangers online since I was in the 4th grade, and I’m still alive. In fact, I plan to live out the rest of my life, too.
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