I am painfully pro choice. This recently came up in a conversation with my sister. Here’s how I see it:
There has been no scientific evidence to suggest that life begins at conception. Therefore, that ideal is mainly a Christian one. I have no problem with that. Christians can believe anything they want to believe. I, however, am also painfully secular, and subsequently don’t believe that life begins at conception.
So, if this idea of life starting at conception is a generally religious notion, it can be compared to, say, the belief in the afterlife, or the integrity of the bible. And while there are Christians that generally try to push all three ideas on the general public, the pro-life one is a Big Issue.
The way I’ve always felt about the “pro choice” stance is that it allows for choice. I am not arguing compulsory D&Cs for everyone, but I am arguing for the choice to have one if one wants. If it’s not your cup of tea, then by no means should you do it, and I support people who make the choice not to have an abortion just as much I support those who do.
The hot topic of adoption was discussed this week, and I am pro adoption, I see nothing wrong with it. I am against coerced adoptions, however. I think that if abortion were to be made illegal, then what we’re really setting the stage for is a heck of a lot of coerced adoptions, because not having the choice to abort is coercion in itself. Unless our goal is to fill the world with more unwanted children by forcing people who should not be parents to carry to term. While that would certainly provide me with enough blog fodder for life, I don’t think it’s really in the best interest of society.
“But Heather!” You say, “If you don’t want kids, don’t have sex!”. That’s all well and good and all, but it’s not really practical. There are a lot of people who don’t want kids. period. Some of these women have made this decision early on in life, but do you think a 20 year old can get a tubal ligation? No, it’s not that easy since, you know, “all women want to be moms” or whatever the rhetoric behind that obstacle is. So to suggest that someone who doesn’t want to have a kid shouldn’t have sex is in some cases suggesting that they stay celibate until their thirties. Again, not really too practical for some people.
My solution to this problem: If you don’t believe in abortion, DON’T HAVE ONE. It’s really pretty simple, no? It comes down to personal choice, which again is all encompassing.
Note:
Wow. My mom was 17 one week from 18 when she had me and she tried desperately to have a tubal. She was turned down until I was 7. I’m not sure what she did to get it but I know that there was a pregnancy scare right before it. They kept telling her that if she divorced my father or he died that she would want more children by her next husband. She stuck by the thought that she should have never been a parent in the first place. I too think that if you choose to have a tubal before you ever have a child and you are legal then it is your choice. I mean afterall they’ve gone to great lengths to perfect the reversal. And there’s always adoption.
There is a theory by some who are against international adoption and I am not one of them because I’m getting ready to do my own in a few short months, but I do share this theory. In a few years there are going to be a lot of women who come forward in some very impoverished contries and say they were forced to give the child away. A lot of times they are promised that the child is going to the orphanage to stay until things get better for the parents and then the child is adopted out. It’s always a good idea to meet the birthparent if you have the chance.
I’m obviously pro adoption and pro choice. My best friend had an abortion and I was going to drive her there despite the fact that I was struggling to conceive at the time. She’s regretted it ever since and been very messed up over it and I never blinked an eye thinking that the child would have been born into a world of hell on earth!
I didnt even realise that tubal ligation wasn’t readily available. Everything you’ve said reflects on my own thoughts especially in relation to the choice aspect of pro choice. While personally I don’t think I could go through with an abortion, I don’t wish to deny anyone else the right to one.
I completely agree-
I didnt want children-they weren’t top of my priority list,even after I was married I was adamant I didnt want any.A health scare with my husband made me realise how selfish I was being to him.I didnt think I would get pregnant-don’t ask me why :) but uh I did and I don’t regret it for one moment.
I can’t abide people who forced their opinions and morals down other folks throats.
This takes me back to the story of a pharmacy worker who refused a morning after pill to a girl in her 20’s,purely because it was a Sunday
I mean he stood on his Religious box for that-but what about the small fact that Sunday is supposed to be a day or rest and all that? eh?
Tara on January 31, 2006 at 11:04 am said:
I didnt even realise that tubal ligation wasn’t readily available.
Around here at least, most doctors will try to deter someone under a certain age from getting their “tubes tied”, and you have to be at least 21 (in most states I believe) to have the proceedure done in the first place.
I … have mixed feelings on abortion. Such a strong part of me screams that it is WRONG, but another part of me knows there are times when it is almost necessary. I try not to get into the debate because I know what I believe and I know that it is going to be different from others … and I will never force my ideas onto someone else. I personally could not get an abortion, but that doesn’t mean that I am going to preach on someone if they make that choice.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. I actually just wrote an essay a few months ago for my law class that focussed on the gender equality issues that go along with abortion. I don’t know whether I would personally get an abortion, but I’m pro-choice because, as you said, it gives us a choice. If I were to find myself in a situation like that, I would much rather have options about what I can do with my own body rather than being forced to carry an unwanted child to term.
And the don’t have sex argument; ridiculous in my books.
Oh and I forgot to mention in my other comment that I’m Christian and am pro-choice despite that. I agree with what the law says about when a human being becomes a human, and I disagree that life starts at conception.
Sorry for the double comments :S
If those people wanna get technical sperm is alive and you kill millions of sperm when you have sex anyway, only one can make a baby.
i strongly disagree, im pro-life :P oh well i still like you :)
Everybody has their own beliefs and the right to express them wholeheartedly. While I strongly disagree and am pro-life, I respect your views. Abortion is definitely a controversial issue, one that must be faced with a lot of knowledge and caution.
Honestly?
I do have a problem with abortion being outlawed…
Which would mean women would have to go back to the dark days of having to go into a dark ally where they would be operated on with a coat hanger for an “illegal” abortion.
My fear is that we’re slowly but surely heading back into that dark age, and I can’t figure out why the hell the government thinks they can legislate each individual uterus in America.
If they think they can legislate a uterus, then I think they should also legislate penises as well.
Oops - oh yea, I’m pro-life, and I’m jewish, and I have problems with everybody…
eek, I mean I have problems with NOBODY (I shouldn’t be writing after midnight…)
For fear of repeating what’s already been said, I’ll just go ahead and state that I entirely agree with every point you made - I’m very strongly pro-choice and believe a woman should first and foremost be her own number #1 priority. If she believes an abortion is the right choice for her at that particular point in time, no one should ever be able to strip her of the right to have one.
P.S. You look gorgeous in your cam picture :)
Tara on January 31, 2006 at 11:04 am said:
I didnt even realise that tubal ligation wasn’t readily available.
Yeh I have no idea if it’s available here!! It must be.. but you never hear about it!
I’m totally pro-choice too, why stuff up the kids life?
I have to say that was a great post. I agree with everything you stated. I am of the opinion that life does not start at conception and have been pro-choice ever since I could make a choice on the matter.
Sean on January 31, 2006 at 5:04 pm said:
If those people wanna get technical sperm is alive and you kill millions of sperm when you have sex anyway, only one can make a baby.
Just remember that on a cold lonely night when you’re trying to heat yourself up while watching the Spice channel: You’re a murderer!
I agree that tubal ligations should be readily available. Not everybody wants to be a mom. I think in Iowa - you have to be 21 to get a tubal ligation, but in other states I’ve heard 18?
Also - I think in Iowa that if you have had 3 or more kids and you don’t *want* anymore kids and you’re under 21, they can give you a tubal ligation. A friend of mine started having children when she was 14. She’s now 22 I think, and on her 3rd or 4th.. but she swears up and down she didn’t want the first too. (I feel bad for the kids. At least they aren’t around when their Mom says that) And I think she was offered a tubal ligation at age 18, or something like that. Not really 100% sure.
And I agree - why should a woman carry a baby full-term if she didn’t want to in the first place? Why should the government control a woman’s uterus and what she does with it? Good post.
Shaw on February 1, 2006 at 12:21 am said:
If they think they can legislate a uterus, then I think they should also legislate penises as well.
Not legislation, but close enough….here in the military if you want your insurance to cover a vasectomy you will have to be over the age of 21 and have 2 children over the age of 18 months.
It’s crazy. I’m pro-choice, because you never know what the circumstances are. Pro-lifers, what if an 11 year old got raped and then became pregnant?
See that’s one of the reasons why I’m pro-choice. I love children and I’m Christian.